Parenting Beyond Paychecks: How LIC’s New Plan Ensures Lifelong Family Stability
Mar 17, 2025By Riya Chatterjee
The journey of finding a surrogate mother is one of the most significant decisions you'll make on your path to parenthood. Let's walk through everything you need to know, from the very first steps to maintaining a healthy relationship with your surrogate throughout the process.
Understanding Your Options
When you're starting your surrogacy journey, you essentially have two paths: working with an agency or pursuing independent surrogacy.
Working with an Agency
Leading agencies like Elixir Fertility Centre, Circle Surrogacy, Growing Generations, ConceiveAbilities, and Fertilityworld offer comprehensive services. They handle everything from screening potential surrogates to coordinating medical care and legal documentation. While agencies charge higher fees, they provide invaluable peace of mind through:
- Rigorous surrogate screening processes
- Medical and psychological evaluations
- Legal support and contract preparation
- Insurance coordination
- Matching services based on specific criteria
- Ongoing support throughout the journey
- Escrow account management for surrogate payments
Independent Surrogacy
Also known as private surrogacy, this path involves finding a surrogate through personal networks or online platforms. While potentially less expensive, you'll need to manage:
- Surrogate screening and background checks
- Medical Coordination
- Legal documentation
- Insurance verification
- Payment arrangements
- Support services
Key Factors in Choosing a Surrogate
Your ideal surrogate should meet certain medical and personal criteria. On the medical front, look for someone who:
- Has had at least one successful pregnancy and delivery
- Is between 21-45 years old (though many professionals prefer surrogates under 40)
- Maintains a healthy BMI and lifestyle
- Has no history of serious pregnancy complications
- Doesn't smoke, drink, or use drugs
Beyond these basics, consider their emotional stability, support system, and life circumstances. A stable home environment and supportive family are crucial for a smooth surrogacy journey.
Essential Medical Screening
Once you've identified a potential surrogate, comprehensive medical screening is non-negotiable. This typically includes:
1. Physical Examination: A complete assessment of the surrogate's health, including pelvic exam and ultrasound.
2. Blood Tests: These check for infectious diseases, hormone levels, and other health markers. Common tests include:
- Complete blood count (CBC)
- Blood type and Rh factor
- Infectious disease screening (HIV, hepatitis B/C, syphilis)
- Hormone level testing
- Genetic carrier screening
- Drug and nicotine screening
- Immunity testing for common diseases
- Sexually transmitted infection screening
3. Psychological Evaluation: This ensures the surrogate understands the emotional implications and is mentally prepared for the journey.
- Mental health assessment
- Personality testing
- Evaluation of the support system
- Discussion of surrogacy expectations
- Assessment of attachment/separation issues
- Coping mechanism evaluation
Legal Considerations and Contracts
Never skip the legal work! A solid surrogacy contract should cover:
- Compensation details and payment schedule
- Medical decisions and rights
- Lifestyle requirements and restrictions
- Number of embryo transfers agreed upon
- Selective reduction and termination rights
- Insurance coverage details
- Birth plan preferences
- Communication expectations
- Privacy and confidentiality terms
- Relationship boundaries
- Future contact agreements
- Legal parentage establishment
Insurance Considerations:
- Verify the surrogate's existing health insurance coverage
- Understand surrogacy exclusions
- Consider supplemental surrogacy insurance
- Plan for complications coverage
- Evaluate life insurance needs
- Review newborn insurance requirements
Building a Healthy Relationship
The surrogate-parent relationship works best when expectations are clear from the start. Discuss communication preferences early – how often will you talk? Will you attend doctor's appointments? What role do you envision having during the pregnancy?
Pro Tips from Experienced Parents
Here are some valuable insights from those who've been through the process:
- Start saving early: Surrogacy costs can range from INR 15,00,000 to INR 25,00,000 or more. Having financial plans in place reduces stress during the journey.
- Get everything in writing: Even if you trust your surrogate completely, detailed documentation protects everyone involved.
- Consider location: Having a surrogate within a reasonable distance makes it easier to attend appointments and build a relationship.
- Check insurance carefully: Many standard health insurance policies don't cover surrogacy. You may need to purchase additional coverage.
Popular Matching Platforms and Resources
Besides the major agencies mentioned earlier, these resources can be helpful:
- ASRM (American Society for Reproductive Medicine) - for general guidelines and clinic recommendations
- Men Having Babies - specifically for gay men pursuing surrogacy
- Resolve.org - offers support groups and educational resources
- Surrogate.com - a platform for both independent and agency-assisted matches
Making It a Smooth Journey
Once you've found your surrogate, focus on creating a positive experience:
- Maintain open communication: Regular check-ins help prevent misunderstandings and build trust.
- Respect boundaries: While it's natural to be excited and concerned, remember that your surrogate needs personal space, too.
- Plan for the unexpected: Have contingency plans for various scenarios, from medical complications to travel arrangements for the birth.
- Create a support network: Connect with other parents through surrogacy support groups. Their experiences and advice can be invaluable.
Post-Birth Considerations
- Immediate bonding time
- Hospital protocols
- Birth certificate procedures
- Insurance coverage transition
- Future contact preferences
- Support for the surrogate's recovery
- Maintaining relationships
- Processing emotions
Conclusion
Remember that finding the right surrogate is a journey that requires patience, understanding, and clear communication. Take time to thoroughly research and consider all aspects before making decisions. The right match will align with your values, communication style, and expectations for the surrogacy journey. Stay organized, maintain open dialogue, and focus on building a positive, respectful relationship that will benefit everyone involved in this remarkable journey to parenthood.
