Hands Free Parenting : Focusing on the Right Things

By Neha Somani|3 - 4 mins read| March 13, 2023

Hands-free living and hands-free parenting is the way to go while you are living life in the fast lane.

Madhumita, a working mother of two, is a self confessed workaholic. As long as she remembers, she has been rushing from honoring family obligations to fulfilling professional responsibilities while grabbing opportunities to climb the corporate ladder. This apparently leaves her with practically no time in between to connect to her kids or have a quiet moment to herself.

People who just see the tip of the iceberg and not the gigantic mass of guilt and pressure underlying within them often end up glorify Madhumita as a ‘superwoman’. But only Madhumita knows what a Herculean task she does every single day.

In a very interesting book called ‘Hands Free Mama’ written by Rachel Macy Stafford who is a Special Education Teacher and also a mom. The book beautifully talks about the gift of giving our loved ones the gift of ‘undivided attention’. In a world full of distractions and obsessed with technology, this book will be your companion in terms of living life while finding balance.

As women with professional ambitions and as doting and dutiful mothers, this is how you can carve out some more ‘us-time’ with your dear darling babies.

Finding the Us Time

1. Time Pockets

We all know the joy of finding some money inside the pocket of an old denim. These are the little joys we should dig for. Start digging out pockets of time to connect with your child. It doesn’t matter even if you get only a few minutes. List the time zones you can be there for them. For instance, from the first thing in the morning until your children go to school, then again when they arrive home, during playtime or while assisting them in their homework, at dinnertime, and finally for bedtime, Be present and available.

2. Powerful affirmations

Once you discover opportunities to connect, articulate your feelings to others. Rachel Macy Stafford mentions one powerful affirmation in her book: “I will not assume [my loved ones] know how I feel.” She elaborates another affirmation,: “Today I will set aside my insecurities and ask my spouse, child, parent or loved one if I can hold them close. I will listen to their heartbeat, breathe in their scent, and tell them how much I love them. There will be obstacles and challenges that will interfere in carrying out these moments of connection, but I will not let the distractions of my life stop me from investing in what matters most—at least not today.”

3. Say yes to “unproductive-ness”

You don’t have to be running with an agenda and an outcome every time you are with your child or even when they are not around. Discover your own solace and center even if it means ‘Me-Time. Pursue your hobbies and unleash your own creativity. Knit, bake, write, dance or sing until you feel rejuvenated. Find your source of joyful release, and be happily ‘unproductive.’ When your child watches you in this pure state of bliss, he or she wants to be a part of the (your) happiness and join you in your art.

4. Get Ritualistic:

Establish rituals with your child. For instance when you are baking, establish the ritual to have your child fetch you the flour or the eggs. Depending on their age, make them a part of your labor and unveil the creative baking process in front of them.

TheParentZ provides Parenting Tips & Advice to parents.

About The Author:

Neha Somani

Last Updated: Mon Mar 13 2023

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