You Are Enough - And Other Things Your Kids Crave to Hear

Today, let's talk about the power of words. Specifically, the words our kids desperately need to hear. It's not always about the big pronouncements or grand gestures. Sometimes, it's the simple, everyday phrases that can make all the difference in a child's life.

These are three simple words that many of us have never heard growing up. Three words that might have changed everything about how we viewed ourselves, our worth, our place in this world.

In a world that constantly tells our kids they need to be better, faster, smarter, richer, it's crucial to remind them that they are enough, just as they are. This isn't about lowering expectations; it's about fostering self-acceptance and self-love.

When kids hear "You are enough," they:

What if they don't hear it? They may grow up constantly seeking external validation, feeling like they're never good enough, and struggling with anxiety and depression.

In our busy lives, it's easy to get caught up in schedules and to-do lists. But our kids crave our presence, our undivided attention. Telling them, "I love spending time with you," and then actually showing it, is a powerful way to strengthen your bond.

When kids hear "I love spending time with you," they:

What if they don't hear it? They may feel neglected, unloved, and resentful. They may seek attention in negative ways or withdraw emotionally.

"I love being your parent." Not "I love you despite your flaws" or "I love you when you behave." Simply: I love the privilege of being your mother, your father. I would choose you again and again.

Letting your child know that you genuinely enjoy being their parent is incredibly powerful. It reinforces their sense of belonging and assures them that they bring joy to your life.

When kids hear "I love being your parent," they:

What if they don't hear it? They might question their place in your life or feel like a burden.

We often focus on results: grades, scores, and awards. But it's just as important to recognize the effort our kids put in, regardless of the outcome. Praising effort fosters a growth mindset and encourages perseverance.

When kids hear "I see how hard you're working, and I'm proud of you," they:

What if they don't hear it? They may become discouraged, give up easily, and develop a fear of failure.

Kids have amazing insights, creativity, and perspectives. When we listen to their thoughts and ideas, we validate their voice and empower them to think critically and creatively.

When kids hear "Your thoughts and ideas matter," they:

What if they don't hear it? They may become passive, withdrawn, and hesitant to share their thoughts and ideas. They may feel like their voice doesn't matter.

Life can be tough, and kids often face challenges that feel overwhelming. Reminding them that they are stronger than they think can help them tap into their inner reserves of strength and resilience.

When kids hear "You are stronger than you think," they:

What if they don't hear it? They may feel helpless, give up easily, and struggle to cope with adversity.

Mistakes are a natural part of life, and they're essential for learning and growth. When we teach our kids that it's okay to make mistakes, we help them develop resilience and a growth mindset.

When kids hear "It's okay to make mistakes. Mistakes help us grow," they:

What if they don't hear it? They may develop a fear of failure, avoid challenges, and become perfectionists, leading to anxiety and stress.

In a competitive world, it's easy for kids to feel pressured to be the best. Reminding them that all you ask is that they do their best can help relieve that pressure and allow them to focus on growth and effort.

When kids hear "You don't have to be the best, just do your best," they:

What if they don't hear it? They may become perfectionists, experience anxiety, and struggle with self-esteem.

Let's be brutally honest: Many of us struggle to give these affirmations because we never received them ourselves. We're trying to pour from empty cups, speaking words that feel foreign on our tongues.

"I catch myself sounding exactly like my mother. Those dismissive tones, the eye rolls, the focus on what needs improvement rather than what's going well. I'm passing down the same wounds without meaning to."

This is the uncomfortable truth of parenting: We must heal ourselves to avoid transferring our wounds. We must learn to speak a language of affirmation that might sound like a foreign dialect to our ears.

The beautiful possibility here is that we can break generational patterns. We can be the parents who say what we needed to hear:

"You don't have to earn my love." 

"Your emotions are valid, even the messy ones." 

"I see your effort, not just your results." 

"You matter to me, exactly as you are."

These aren't empty compliments or participation trophies. They're truths that anchor children in their inherent worth.

So, start today. Find your child. Look them in the eyes. And tell them what your heart might have needed to hear: "You, exactly as you are right now, are enough."