If Kids Ruled the World: A Humorous Look at Childhood Logic

Imagine a world where nap time is illegal, chocolate milk flows from kitchen faucets, and broccoli is a banned substance. No taxes, no traffic jams, and certainly no ‘because I said so.’ This is childhood logic — where the rules are written in crayon and logic is as wobbly as a toddler’s first steps.

If kids ruled the world, the laws of physics might stay intact, but the laws of bedtime? Absolutely not. Read this article to find out the humorous side of childhood logic and what would happen if kids ruled the world.

In the world of grown-ups, bedtime is non-negotiable. But under the jurisdiction of children, it becomes a suggestion, like “eat your vegetables” or “don’t stick that up your nose.”

If kids were in charge, the moon would rise just to signal the start of playtime. Pajamas would be optional, and brushing teeth? Replaced by the occasional swish of juice.

The truth is— in this child-run world, parents would be the ones yawning in meetings after three hours of hide and seek.

Why spend money on gas or groceries when you could invest in an all-you-can-lick sundae bar on every corner? According to childhood economics, the value of any item can be measured in ice cream scoops.

Need a raise? Three cones. Win an argument? You get toppings. Apologize to your sibling? One scoop — reluctantly given.

And money? It's useless unless it comes in the form of shiny coins to shove into a gumball machine.

In a kid-ruled society, fairness is everything. And fairness, as defined by children, means exactly the same — not a grain of rice more or a millimeter less. If one kid gets five fries, the rest better follow.

Presidential debates? Replaced by who had the bigger half of the cookie. International conflicts? Settled with rock-paper-scissors (best out of three, obviously).

Under a kid’s fashion code, mismatched socks are a statement, capes are appropriate at formal events, and pants are optional on weekends.

Also, glitter is a neutral color. Please take note.

And shoes? Only necessary if you’re not sprinting through the house yelling, “The floor is lava!”

Diplomacy and discussion in this world would rely heavily on one sacred tool: the question ‘Why?’ — asked 472 times a day. Sometimes consecutively.

‘Why can’t we have pizza for breakfast? Why does the sun go down? Why do you have lines on your forehead when I talk too much?’

In this world, treaties and policies would be backed by highly questionable science, like “I heard it from my friend’s cousin’s sister, and she’s in second grade.”

In the world of kids, if it makes you laugh, do it again. If it makes you cry, hug something soft. And if it sparkles — own it, carry it, possibly eat it (even if it’s not edible).

It’s a place where a bad mood can be cured by a dance break, and the deepest sadness comes from a broken crayon or a balloon flying away.

Yes, a world ruled by kids would be chaotic, sticky, and constantly glitter-dusted — but it would also be beautifully honest. And maybe, just maybe, if adults peek into their logic — where joy and kindness matter more than productivity and efficiency — you might find yourself living in a better world too.