5 Ways to Raise Your Son Right This International Men's Day

Open Instagram or YouTube, and you'll find everything from the "sigma male" nonsense to videos glorifying aggression as strength. Then there's the other extreme, where boys are made to feel guilty just for being boys, as if masculinity itself is toxic.

The truth is that our sons are confused. They see successful men who are kind and respectful. But they also see influencers getting millions of views for treating women badly or showing off fake "alpha" behavior. They hear about mental health awareness, but their friends still mock anyone who shows emotion. They're told to be sensitive, but society still expects them to "man up" when things get tough.

This International Men's Day (November 19), instead of just posting something on social media, let's do something that actually matters. Let's use this day to raise our sons right, not just for today, but for the kind of men they'll become tomorrow.

Stop with the "boys don't cry" already. Instead, when he's upset, sit with him. Ask, "What are you feeling right now?" If he's angry, don't just tell him to calm down; instead, teach him. "I can see you're angry. That's okay. But we don't hit/yell/break things. Let's take some deep breaths together."

This isn't making him weak. This is making him emotionally intelligent. The strongest men are those who can handle their emotions, not those who pretend they don't have any.

Pro Tip: Start today. When he's frustrated with homework, instead of "Don't get angry," try "I know this is frustrating. Let's take a break and come back to it." Show him healthy ways to process feelings.

Real strength isn't about how much you can lift or how many fights you can win. It's standing up for the kid being bullied, even when others laugh at you. It's admitting when you're wrong. It's asking for help when you need it.

Point out real-life examples. "See how your uncle apologized even though it was hard? That takes real courage." Or "Your teacher stood up for that student. That's what strong people do."

Pro Tip: Share your own moments of strength; times you admitted mistakes, asked for help, or did the right thing even when it was hard. Let him see that being strong and being human aren't opposites.

Yes, teach him to respect women, but don't stop there. Teach him to respect the house help, the security guard, his younger sister, his elderly neighbor, animals, nature, and everything. Respect isn't about gender. It's about recognizing the value in every living being.

And teach him that respecting women doesn't mean putting them on a pedestal or treating them like they're fragile. It means seeing them as equals. As people. As capable individuals who deserve the same opportunities and courtesy as anyone else.

Pro Tip: Model it. How do you talk to the delivery person? How do you treat service staff? He's watching. Also, call out disrespect when you see it, even in movies or shows you watch together. "Did you notice how that character spoke to his mother? That's not okay."

The biggest gift you can give your son is knowing he can come to you with anything, without judgment, without lectures, without immediate solutions. Whether it's about grades, friends, that girl he likes, or that scary thought he had, he should know you're safe.

This means sometimes just listening. Not fixing. Not advising. Just being there. Boys get so little of this that when they finally need to talk about something serious, like depression, peer pressure, or identity questions, they don't know how.

Pro Tip: Start with small daily check-ins. During dinner or before bed, ask specific questions: "What made you laugh today?" "Did anything confuse you?" "Did you help anyone, or did anyone help you?" Make talking a habit, not a special occasion.

Boys need to know they matter and that they can contribute. That their existence makes a difference. Get him involved in something bigger; it could be helping a neighbor, feeding street dogs, tutoring a younger kid, or even just taking care of his grandparents.

When boys feel purposeful, they're less likely to seek validation from the wrong places. They're less likely to fall for the toxic masculinity trap because they already know their worth.

Pro Tip: Start small and age-appropriate. A 7-year-old can help serve food to guests. A 12-year-old can teach the house help's child. A 16-year-old can volunteer somewhere. Make service a family value, not a one-time activity.

This November 19, let's make a commitment. Not just to celebrate the good men in our lives (though yes, do that), but to raise our sons to be the kind of men the world desperately needs.

Men who are strong but not aggressive. Leaders, but not domineering. Confident but not arrogant. Successful but not selfish. Emotional but not weak. Protective but not controlling.

The world doesn't need perfect men. It needs good men. And good men are raised, not born.

Your son is watching you. What he sees at home will matter more than anything he reads online or learns in school. So this International Men's Day, don't just talk about positive masculinity; live it, model it, teach it.

Because raising him right isn't just about him; it's about every person whose life he'll touch. Every woman he'll work with. Every child he might father. Every friend who'll need him. Every community he'll be part of.

Let's raise him right. Not for International Men's Day. But for every day after.